Do you ever say this? Feel this way?
I can’t tell you how many times I hear this on a regular basis while working with competitive athletes. Sometimes even at home or with friends and family I hear people saying this. If you truly think about the meaning of this statement, it is pointless and doesn’t even make sense. This is of course my own opinion, but it seems like there is a little bit of positive at the beginning and then it is shattered by this horrible word “can’t”. I feel like it takes away from any type of positive you may have had going on in your mind.
You want to but you just can’t?…
“Just can’t” is not a very logical way of thinking. It’s too vague and doesn’t really give you an adequate reason as to why you feel that way. Why do you think that is? If you really can’t do something there has to be a reason. When I hear this statement, right away my mind goes to 2 questions.
- Why not? (Is that the real reason? Is there something you’re unwilling to admit?)
- How could you truly want to achieve something if you say you just can’t?
How Can I Say This Differently?
A more logical way of stating this would be: “I can’t do it because….” and follow with whatever the reason may be. Neither of those statements are very positive but at least the second one has some information that you can use to turn it into something positive in the future. With a reason behind it, your mind starts to evaluate the possible solutions or alternatives, naturally because you are allowing it. By being honest with yourself and expressing an clear reason, you consciously know what it is that is not allowing you to do whatever you are trying to do. You can then effectively come up with solutions or ways to drive through the roadblock. When you have it set in your mind that you “just can’t” do something, there is no room for any type of thought process because you have already shut the idea down. That’s almost like saying you want to eat healthy while you are buying the largest box of donuts at the bakery to snack on. Seems unproductive right?
Let’s Get To Work
I encourage you to really think about what the real reason behind your negative thoughts are are… I challenge you to change your “can’t” statement by adding a “because”.
If you need to write it down, go for it. Sometimes writing things down helps to focus and remember things more efficiently. Perhaps you are afraid, nervous, embarrassed or maybe you don’t feel like you are capable of doing it in the first place. There could be so many different reasons. You may not always like the reason but it is important that you are aware of it. Being honest with yourself is the most important thing when you are facing challenges in life.
What Are Your Next Steps?
So now that you have added a reason why, there are a few more valuable questions to ask yourself. Have you tried all possible pathways towards a solution? Have you thought about what your goals are and if they are something you should be realistically trying to accomplish? Sometimes as motivated individuals, we make goals for ourselves that are far fetched and that we are not ready for. It doesn’t mean that we can’t achieve them in the future, but sometimes it is good to start with a goal that is achievable in a realistic time frame. I can relate to this myself. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dream big- it just means that you should goals that are both short and long term. Have you made a step by step plan as to how you are going to get it done? Lastly, are you making an effort to follow through with your plan? I encourage you to take some time to brainstorm the answers to these questions and see how they look for you. It will be your first step towards being able to do something you thought you couldn’t do. Come up with a plan as to how you are going to surpass the negativity and determine what it would take for you to change your way of thinking. Your mind is the strongest part of you body and as you may or may not have heard me say before:
The strongest type of empowerment comes from within you. Only YOU can make the choice to be better than you were yesterday.
It’s Okay To Ask For Help
I will be hard sometimes. Success doesn’t come easy. I am not saying this to try and scare you. I am saying it because I want to be completely honest with you. True success takes hard work and dedication. Even though it may feel difficult, it’s certainly achievable if it is something you are passionate about and is truly important to you. It’s okay to ask for help.
If you are feeling alone and stuck, you can ask for some help. You don’t need to do it all by yourself. Ask your coach what they think and if they have some time to spend with you. Tell him or her what you are going through and explain your thoughts. Together you can come up with a plan and you can learn from each other. Doing things with other people who support you helps to remain focused on your end results and generally gives you a little more incentive to follow through with your goals.
Now that you are following your plan to success, are you rewarding yourself for making progress along the way? You don’t have to be happy for only accomplishing the big goal. That is of course very important but it takes smaller goals along the way to achieve the big ones. Reward yourself for making positive steps forward in your journey. Remember to tell yourself how proud you are for making progress and how excited you are to continue to better yourself each day.
You are strong and have the power to change your negative thoughts into positive ones simply because you know yourself best. You know what your limits are, what you can handle and what you want better than anyone else. You get to decide if you want to achieve your goals and you get to choose if you want to be positive or negative while doing it. No one has the power to make those decisions for you. Others can help and support you along the way but at the end of the day you are the one who has to do the hard work and make the final decisions. You are the only one standing in your way. I believe in you. Do you believe in you?
“You are your own most powerful motivator and critic. Which will you be?”